A Muse for a Monday

Dogfish

Some kind of relaxed and beautiful thing
kept flickering in with the tide
and looking around.
Black as a fisherman’s boot,
with a white belly.

If you asked for a picture I would have to draw a smile
under the perfectly round eyes and above the chin,
which was rough
as a thousand sharpened nails.

And you know
what a smile means,
don’t you?

I wanted the past to go away, I wanted
to leave it, like another country; I wanted
my life to close, and open
like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song
where it falls
down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery;
I wanted
to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know,

whoever I was, I was

alive
for a little while.

It was evening, and no longer summer.
Three small fish, I don’t know what they were,
huddled in the highest ripples
as it came swimming in again, effortless, the whole body
one gesture, one black sleeve
that could fit easily around
the bodies of three small fish.

Also I wanted
to be able to love. And we all know
how that one goes,
don’t we?

Slowly

the dogfish tore open the soft basins of water.

You don’t want to hear the story
of my life, and anyway
I don’t want to tell it, I want to listen

to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.

And anyway it’s the same old story – – –
a few people just trying,
one way or another,
to survive.

Mostly, I want to be kind.
And nobody, of course, is kind,
or mean,
for a simple reason.

And nobody gets out of it, having to
swim through the fires to stay in
this world.

And look! look! look! I think those little fish
better wake up and dash themselves away
from the hopeless future that is
bulging toward them.

And probably,
if they don’t waste time
looking for an easier world,

they can do it.
~ Mary Oliver

Duendesday: Beckoning Life

{life with a curious and crazy 13 yr old}

Amidst her absorption of everything in her path (her mind is like a sponge), Duende has decided to try out High School. We are very lucky to have a public charter that caters to the arts (especially now, in this political climate) and the Open House excited her very much (I’m sure many of you are relieved she will consider ‘normality’, remember, it’s art school – ha!). We’re excited for her to make a decision and try it out.

Until then, she will be roller skating around, doing her thing. She loves both the sociality of downtown and her studio time where she sews doll clothes or now clothes for herself, draws more fashion or lately practices wild animals, or beads, knits, writes stories, watercolor paints, etc. She’s also loves outside, lately she’s been practicing archery with J, mowing the lawn (which means her rocking out while driving as fast as possible and hopefully the grass also gets cut), and running around like a loon. Much of her time is spent dancing though — her dancing is vigorous and amazing.

The duende is strong with this one.

Tuesday Happenings: Reality Check

Oh, the sun is shining so nicely these days, interspersed with Spring rains (doing their lovely job of curbing the Browntail Moth population — thank you, thank you, thank you). The garden still awaits our attentions and in true crazy-life-fashion we will get to it in one fell swoop along with getting the house under control for the beginning of Summer friend visitations.

It’s been awhile since we’ve had visitors. For a couple of years there, the bakery was run out of the house so it was a constant negotiation of business and life, and visitors were discouraged. And then with the opening of the new space, many of our management techniques fell by the wayside (and to be frank, I would have been embarassed to have guests) both in and out of the house. But now we are trying to be open to such things again — though we still have a bit of work to do (and still little time and energy). The reality check is that we have to accept that the best we can do is enough.

Something perhaps we need to learn in all facets of our life. Everyone is hopefully doing the best they can with what they have, and that’s reality. On some level we have to accept it and try to get along as best we can. It’s a little depressing in that it doesn’t always translate to the ideal situation, or the expectations we have for the things we want and need. Redefining words to mean what we think we want them to mean becomes a very interesting endeavor (not always correct, not always kind, not always negative, and not always problematic) — like nature, community, family, health, success…reality.

What’s on the agenda these days?

  • Thanking the beautiful people who make community with us and understand what we do and why we do it. We’re not here just to sell things, but to engage with folks and ideas to build a better now and healthy future. We’ve started offering ‘Free Poetry of the Week’ and our favorite article ‘Are You An Anarchist? The Answer May Surprise You!’ by David Graeber.
  • Opening the Community-Supported-Bakery shares a bit to incorporate more folks and solidify it as a community building practice (we’ve got new shares open on Tuesdays and Saturdays right now!). Creating commitment to our local economy from the top-down is part of the plan (we only serve you responsible and as local as possible goods) and regularity and communication is key.
  • We are publishing pamphlets and poetry to give access to voices and ideas. Rubble Books will thoughtfully put in print goods and words to promote the critical exchange of ideas and creativity.
  • Partnering with other alliances and groups to offer more programming towards all the things that we already support — events on herb/tea blending for health and wellness, more writing workshops, author readings, and reading clubs, social justice happenings, and nature connections (from astrology and tarot to basket weaving and foraging). Keep an eye on our events calendar!

We will do our best, it’s all we can do. And be grateful for the people who show up and share time and energy with us. We are so grateful, every day.

Monday’s Muse: Mother’s Day Proclamation

Mother’s Day Proclamation: 

An International Plea For Peace

~ Julia Ward Howe, 1870

(part-time resident of Gardiner, ME)

Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: “We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.”

“Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says, “Disarm, disarm! The sword is not the balance of justice.” Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each learning after his own time, the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

Recipe Thursday: Whipped Feta & Tofu Ramp Spread

Just a mere couple of weeks ago we were knee deep in the snow, and now the Forsythia is blooming, Bee Balm shoots are perking up, Fiddleheads are out and about, and the Ramps are fully leafed out. Let the foraging commence!

My planted garden Nettle (yes, I had to plant Nettle here on this barren homestead) has one full shoot, the Dandelion are just arriving (great greens everywhere to eat!), the yard Violets show their purple little petals and the Violet green clumps are bushing out, the Sumac shoots are growing, Pines are budding, Hosta and Daylily shoots are ready to eat, and there are even mini Daisy buds on short stems available for picking. There is instantly a plethora to eat out there.

There is a lot not to eat right now, too, that is exciting: the Peonies are shooting up, the Azalea is in bloom, the Ruby-Throated Hummingbird has visited already, and the Daffodil ring (and all the friends around the Apple trees) are opening their sunny faces. Spring has sprung in a big way (evenings of Peepers, clouds of bugs, Spring ticks, many Warblers, rainy days and days reaching almost 70 degrees while nights stay in the late 30’s and mid 40’s).

In the garden, the Peas are amazingly in (got them planted right before we went to NYC, there are 2″ shoots already, and no trellis!) and the front bed mostly raked. And although we are near the first mow of the season (No-Mow-May is for suburbanites, not for rural folk), the new garden beds have not been shaped or cleaned up yet (there are certainly not enough hours in our day) but we’re hoping to get a grasp on all of it before the month is out. I’ve got Cherokee Purple Tomatoes growing in the greenhouse porch for the food pantry peeps, and maybe some seedlings to sell: Lemon Cukes, Bell Peppers, Basil of all kinds, Calendula, Cilantro, and a smattering of other herbs. And then many flowers for the new gardens — Dahlia, Celosia, Stocks, Poppies, Zinnia, Cosmos, Viola, other Bee Balms/Lemon Balm, Echinacea, Gomphrena, Globe Amaranth, Nigella, Strawflower and many more. I’ll likely seed in place Chamomile, more Zinnia & Cosmos, Sunflower, Dill, Fennel, and many many beans (I like growing beans). Of course, I always dream big and hopefully at least half will get done.

Until then, I’m whipping some local Pumpkin Vine Valley Family Farm goat Feta with olive oil and ramp leaves, spreading it on some amazing naturally-leavened Panem Domus (Stone Broke’s House Bread), and searing up some Morton Brook Ranch lamb chops to go with it.

It’s not a bad life.

Whipped Feta & Tofu Ramp Spread
Makes about 2 cups

1 Block of Feta (about 6oz) (I like the block kind in brine/whey…save a little liquid for blending, if possible, if not, add a little water 1 Tbsp at a time)
12-16oz Firm Tofu (we use Maine’s Heiwa, it has the best texture of firm and toothy tofu)
10-15 Ramp leaves, or green garlic, or a mix of fresh alliums (chives, scallions, tender leek)
1/4 – 1/2 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Fresh Cracked Black Pepper, to taste

Blend Ramp leaves first with a little Olive Oil, then add Feta and a little liquid to make smooth. Add Tofu in small chunks to blend, adding more Olive Oil and liquid as needed to continue to keep smooth (and thick but spreadable). I was happy with 12oz of Tofu for a strong Ramp and Feta taste but if it’s too strong, keep adding more Tofu chunks and blend to desired strength. Blend in a tsp or 2 of Fresh Cracked Black Pepper, or more to taste. Spread liberally on delicious Sourdough Bread or crostinis.

We’ll be using more of it as a dollop on our Rock Bottom Lentils. Enjoy!

The Sign of the Eclipse

We only got to experience the 98% but it was still pretty amazing! It was amazing to use our fancy little lo-tek cardboard glasses to see the moon inch across the sun’s path, it was amazing to see the strange light and shadows — the crazy stillness, it was amazing to see that 2% of sunlight still lightens the world. I was energized, soaking in all of the moon power and thinking about the magnificent coincidence of the moon being the right shape/size and in the right path to perfectly cover the sun — that our perception of the moon matches our perception of the sun in a perfectly perceptable alignment! We all stood out on the sidewalk, sharing our glasses with whomever walked by to marvel in this amazing phenomenon. To be so blatantly reminded how small we are, as earthlings but especially as humans, and how we are just a tiny part of an ecosystem which by the grace of its commitment to working together (some more than others, eh?) exists.

It has spurred us to assess our place in the world, in our community, and in the place where we are — as the year unfolds, so will our understanding and further plans(maybe Valencia for the next eclipse!). The whiplash of the Spring weather emphasizes perseverence, patience, and empathy.

We look forward.

Duendesday: Island of Bloo

{life with a curious and crazy 13 yr old}

It must be amazing to be a (slightly) middle class white kid in (relative) suburbia…J & I talk about the magick of ‘no’. As if we could have ever told our parents ‘no’ without serious traumatic repercussions. Or just willy-nilly fed ourselves, or took 3-hour baths, or made any decisions about our bodies or lives at that age. And it’s not that she’s “spoiled” (whatever that means, she’s not a piece of fruit) because we allow her to have a hand in her own decisions about her own time and body, or because we treat her like a person who deserves respect and space of her own, or because we include her as a part of the family, not a prop to direct around. She’s just her own individual person. And we’re glad we can share this space with her, and that she is so amenable to be around.

Yes, the ‘no’ is sometimes slightly problematic, but not really. Just because we allow her to say ‘no’, doesn’t mean ‘no’ is the answer. It just allows her to voice her opinion, to feel heard, and then we move on. We still parent (which for us, means that we guide her to the right decision — not manipulate, or stipulate, or demand). We don’t tell her what to think but try and help her learn to think, for herself. And yes, at some point she will go out into the world and have to be a human with other humans, and the rest of the world, but right now she’s still a kid. And kid’s should have space and time to negotiate and learn the world without being expected to be mini-adults yet. We’re more interested in her responsibility to thinking and caring, than all of her chores being done (though it would be nice if she were more helpful, at the same time, she gets to it, and there are more important things in learning than laundry).

We are quite happy with the person she is becoming. Duende is amazing. She’s (wicked) funny, never cruel, and always considers the feelings of others. She’s adventurous and loves to develop new skills in the things that spark her. She’s smart, she has a great logical mind and comes up with creative solutions to complex problems. She’s always learning new skills. This week she learned to use a maul for chopping wood, started using her sewing machine (and learned many skills there — designing doll dresses/gathering, shaping, trimming cloth while watching the historic costume show), cleaned up the dooryard gardens in time for the storm, baked an entire turkey dinner (stuffing the bird with herbs and rubbing with garlic butter, making biscuits and gravy, roasting veg, etc), starting a watercolor series, deciding she wants to learn the accordion, and somehow still playing way too many cat games on her phone. She’s worked out some new (and crazy acrobatic) dance moves and helping out a lot lately (cleaning, organizing, running independent errands, learning how to hook/unhook the generator, etc).

Though somedays 13 feels like a lot, it’s very welcome.