Tuesday Happenings: welcoming the good that comes from the bad…

So, we got a email letter yesterday sent to our website (I’ll share it below because why not…it’s interesting to see people’s words and thinking, but without their name because public shaming people who do not know any better is not our thing) which solidified how we’ve been feeling in this area lately. We know better because so many lovely folks show up but with the state of the world as it is, it is easy to get sucked into the vortex of negativity and overwhelm. But a funny thing happened…when we shared this letter online, we were instantly supported by hundreds of friends and our community. It reminded us we’re not alone in a sea of struggle and insanity.

And I (particularly I, not we) reactively wanted to write a letter defending us, correcting them, and pointing out their lack of clear thinking but I sat on it, and crafted a letter really getting to the heart of the matter (as I see it) which is about care. Some folks are concerned about the divisiveness in our society but their division is only between binary systems (gender, political parties, race, etc) and not within a relation of care. If you really care about people, then you will want to help them be safe and secure disregarding the various ways we go about living. This is ecological because care takes care of everyone. I want to be clear — not everyone is welcome in our space or life, only those who care for others, who care for the very existence of everyone. If your logic dictates that this means we do not care for everyone, you have missed the point. We care. That’s it. This does not mean that we let abusive people act as they see fit. In fact, it means we act against it — with care as our force. Think of it as similar to the Golden Rule but without the trappings and rhetoric of damaging ideology (and idolatry). Our practices (which are not ideologies because they are not restrictive systems with a teleological moral imperative but adaptive practices in living amongst other living beings) do not harm anyone, unlike uncaring points of view. Perhaps this is part of the letter I wanted to write.

Instead, this is the letter I did write:

I want to apologize that you do not feel welcome in our store. It is key that we create a safe and welcoming space for growing a community who believe that diversity is positive. I wish you were in a place in your life open to caring for this diversity.

If we were to have a conversation, you would find that politics is very much not our thing — we aren’t particularly impressed by the lack of responsible representation in our political system and do not feel that caring for people is a political act, but a sensible one. We do not collectivize anything but offer ways to critically think and question limited care thinking. We foster a place where people can feel free and safe to be the kind of people who support each other. As women, we have already had a history of suppression and oppression, I can’t imagine doing that to others.

However, if you are not ready for this kind of place or thinking, I wish you well. If you meant to shame me or make me feel bad, you have accomplished your goal. No one likes to be told that they are not worthy of respect or care. If you want to reduce or hurt our business, I suppose by losing you as a customer we have — but I did share your letter (without your name) and have had overwhelming support and care from our community which makes us feel so welcome and reinvigorated to help those in need. At the end of the day, we are not here for customer service but for community relations. This community lives alongside you, so perhaps you do not know your neighbors as well as you could. I hope that you find the time and energy to do so — compassionately, and with great care.

All the best.

So, that’s what has been happening in our world. We thought our struggles this week were going to be getting to the jungle we call a garden and homestead but it seems to be a bigger question of community, home, and care. The outpouring of love we got online and in-store makes us sigh with relief. We’re not alone — we are in good relations.

Thank you.